


Kiss Me Fool

by DGCatAniSiri



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 14:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13148166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: Anakin and Rex have a serious talk about how a relationship between a Jedi and a clone trooper can work out.





	Kiss Me Fool

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love Padme. For the purposes of this fic, she either does not exist or is not married to Anakin. So there is no adultery happening here. Just so we're clear on this fact.
> 
> Title of this fic is a song by Fefe Dobson. Considering that the chorus involves the phrase 'who should I be to make you love me?', it felt appropriate when it came to a relationship that would seem destined for a tragic end like a Jedi and a clone.

Victory was always sweet, but there were things about victory that always made it sweeter.

Victory meant leaving yet another rock behind. The simple fact was, war was destructive, and by the time any fight was done, even the most beautiful, pristine world had become a shattered wasteland, a place where dirt, ash, and blood stained the field. Buildings were left in pieces. People were left with little more than their lives. Victory was only a matter of degree, who walked away with a little more than the other side. 

Still, ‘victory’ for those among the Grand Army of the Republic also meant a return to their ships, away from the site of battle. It was the kind of thing that was painful to realize, that their way of walking away from battle meant that they didn’t have to deal with the true aftermath of their fight, that they were able to go back to soft beds and warm meals, while the people on the battlefield were left with the rubble that had been their home. 

Anakin Skywalker tried to put those thoughts away. He tried to center himself. He tried... to forget. 

He ranked high enough that he at least had his own quarters. The fact that his duties involved mission debriefings with Captain Rex also allowed them a modicum of privacy from those who’d pry into things.

“I really should head back to the barracks.” Rex’s voice was soft, but it still pulled Anakin back from the brink of sleep.

Anakin pulled himself up from Rex’s chest to look him in the eye. “What for?”

Rex shrugged. “I’m not normally spending my nights this far from my brothers.”

“They don’t exactly do a headcount, Rex,” Anakin said with a gentle grin. He placed a kiss on Rex’s bare chest, lingering for a moment as he felt the firmness of Rex’s chest, so close to his heartbeat. 

Rex looked to him with an affectionate smile. “You know that’s not what I mean. My brothers don’t get this. It seems... wrong that I get to have this, while they... don’t.”

The clones – Rex’s brothers, all however many million of them there were – were the forgotten part of the war, when the analysis came down. They were born for war, literally. And there was no way for them to escape it. 

As much as Anakin enjoyed basking in the afterglow of making love to Rex, the somberness in Rex’s tone said to him that he was thinking of things beyond going another round or two (clone stamina could almost match that of a Jedi). He rolled off of Rex, onto his side, so he could look Rex in the eye. Rex let out a sigh, giving Anakin a small smile.

“Not that I don’t want to be here with you... Anakin.” It was still rare to hear his name emerge from Rex’s lips – outside of this room, Force, even outside of this bed, it was ‘Commander,’ ‘sir,’ or ‘Skywalker,’ if Rex was feeling particularly casual. But here... Well, Rex had seen Anakin thoroughly debauched (had been the cause of said debauching), had been in a position where standing on formalities like rank seemed ridiculous.

But that was drilled into the clones in their Kaminoian flash training, that rank and the chain of command were always in effect. As much as Anakin had always treated the clones as just soldiers who happened to all share the same face, there were those moments when they would talk about the things that they’d gone through, their accelerated childhoods, their education as soldiers that had begun the moment they could hold a gun, the way that they’d been raised to view themselves first and foremost as a weapon... Those things were always there.

Maybe that had been the draw for Anakin towards Rex – as Anakin had grown older, he’d come to realize all the things that had been ‘normal’ in his childhood, his time as a slave, with a bomb surgically implanted in his skull, even among the Jedi, under countless restrictions that spoke against the things his mother had taught him to value, had been horribly wrong to do to any child, and in Rex, he’d found a kindred spirit, someone who understood that. Because the only love the clones – that Rex and his brothers – had received had been the fraternal affection of one another. Aside from what they’d felt for each other, they had been raised in a sterile environment, treated as organic droids, rather than people.

The result of that had been that the clones were closer than brothers in a lot of ways. And here Rex was, in Anakin’s bed. Not just the comfort of the nicer accommodations, the clones’ barracks being little more than a box with cots in it, but the fact that Rex had a lover. Had someone who loved him, not as a brother in arms, but in the way that non-clones loved other people. The way a Jedi shouldn’t. The way that people with a future did. 

That was why Rex had this seemingly abrupt concern about being with his brothers, Anakin was sure. He felt guilty for this thing he had that his brothers didn’t, that, if they were honest about it, they likely never would have. “Rex... you shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to be happy.”

“Isn’t that what you’ve said the Jedi expect of you?” Rex said with a chuckle. He’d endured more than one of Anakin’s problems with the Jedi, what they demanded of those who followed their rules. And they’d only increased in frequency since Ahsoka had left the Order. 

“And I don’t. I... Rex, you make me happy, in a way that the Jedi never have. I don’t regret anything about this. About us.” Almost unconsciously, he took one of Rex’s hands in his own, even bringing it up for him to gently kiss. “When I’m alone with you... I feel like I have a home. I’ve never felt that before. Not since...” He trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

Rex understood. “I feel the same way about you. I can understand what we’re supposed to be fighting for when I’m with you.” He shook his head. “It’s something I was never supposed to feel.”

“And you think the Jedi would approve of us as well?” Anakin countered. “We’re not anything approaching typical.”

“And, all things considered, we really don’t have much of a future,” Rex said, sounding wearily resigned. “Even if you walked away from the Jedi after the war... It’s not like there’s any kind of retirement benefits for us clones. Those of us still alive aren’t... I mean do you expect them to put together an old folks home for the clone soldiers after this?”

Anakin wanted to believe as much – if nothing else, he could ask the Chancellor about it, but the Chancellor had so many things on his plate as it was, he would likely be no more able to do anything about it after the war as he’d been able to prevent the war from breaking out in the first place. 

“And,” Rex continued, “What’d happen if you left the Jedi?” He let out a grim chuckle. “Much as we might want it... We’re not going to get a happy ending.”

“Why not?” Anakin asked. “Rex, you’re a fighter. A soldier. If you want this, you should be ready to fight for it.”

That got a sad smile from Rex. “Believe me. I want to. But I can see an ending to the war. The Republic wins, it’s restored, freedom ensured. This, us... I don’t see how that ends, other than in us parting ways.”

Anakin scowled. “Rex. You can’t believe that. It might be difficult, but...” He paused, wanting to figure exactly what the right thing to say was. He rolled himself on top of Rex, making sure that the other man was looking him in the eyes. “Rex... I love you. Whatever else happens... I want to be with you. That’s what matters here.” 

For a long moment, the room was silent, just the sound of their breathing echoing. Rex let out a sigh, a smile poking at his face. “You’re a stubborn man, Anakin Skywalker.”

“Then it sounds to me like we’re something of a pair. And I want to deal with your stubbornness for a long time yet.”

When Rex opened his mouth, it was likely to remind Anakin about the shortened life expectancy of clones – even if they made it through fighting alive, through the war and the constant battles, the accelerated growth they’d been through to have them reach maturity in half the time of normal human men didn’t just switch off once they hit maturity. Rex would be lucky to reach Anakin’s chronological age, and even if they did proceed to try to build a life together, Rex would likely be gone before Anakin made it to fifty. 

But he saw the firmness of Anakin’s glare, knew that he’d accept nothing but an agreement about this, a recognition that Rex had something – someONE – to live for. To fight for. To make a life beyond this war alongside. 

And, although Rex was a realist, a soldier who knew the score, the earnestness, the desire for a life without the burdens of being a Jedi or a soldier, just two people who loved one another, to walk away from all of these responsibilities... He found himself wanting to believe that Anakin was right, that they could do just that.

“You’re very persistent,” he said, unable to stop from smiling at his lover. 

“It’s one of the things you love about me,” Anakin said, recognizing that Rex was letting him have this. 

Rex reached out, cupping Anakin’s cheek and pulling him close. “I... I love you.” It was an impossible admission from a clone – they’d been made for war, not love. But being around Anakin, the impossible seemed significantly less so. With those words said, Rex leaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Anakin, holding him close.

The war would rage. It would be won. Maybe, just maybe, Anakin and Rex could run away after it ended, find a patch of land. Rex’s clone DNA came from Jango Fett, of Concord Dawn. Farming was a way of life for those people. Maybe some of that was contained in his DNA too. Maybe he could go and start a farm. After the war, it might be nice to build something.

That was, Rex realized, the first time he’d truly thought about what he might do after the war. The first time he’d been willing to admit that he might live through it.

He found that it was not as strange a thought as he’d always imagined thinking like a civilian would be. And, holding Anakin close, Rex started to think that he might like it, too.

Anakin seemed to sense the change in Rex’s thoughts as he pulled back slightly. “Something else?” he asked, though he could tell enough that it wasn’t something bad.

“Just... I suppose I am glad to stay here. All night,” Rex said. 

Anakin’s responding grin told him he wasn’t likely to get much sleep that night.


End file.
